A Life Worth Living by Nancy Buxton

Archive for the ‘self’ Category

The Girl who Thought She Was Ugly

I don’t like the word ugly.  Actually there are a few words I don’t like, dork, bored, ugly, I don’t care, hate and using the Lords name in vain, are just a few of the words I don’t care to hear.

Back to the girl. . .think of it like this what if somewhere, sometime, someone you trusted told you that you were ugly.  Suppose you agreed that you were ugly and you put it in your belief window.  Would it make a difference?  You bet it would.

I remember Florence Littauer talking about a girl named Greta and how her mother never gave her the silver box of saying Greta was beautiful.  Greta looked for affirmation from her mother until her mother’s dying day.

The story is told of a very attractive girl, one you would notice when she walked into the room.  The only problem with this girl’s looks was that she never smiled.  This girl was convinced that she was ugly.  Her mother told her how ugly she was almost every day.

She would never accept the idea that she  was attractive, and her self-esteem was low and affecting her relationships.  You see when her boyfriend would tell her she was attractive, her window told her, he is either lying or he is too stupid to realize how ugly she really is.

By accepting her mother’s words about her looks and putting it on her window, this woman has given her mother control over this aspect of her life.  She could not take control herself until she replaced her mother’s principle with one of her own.

What about you and me, do we have a belief window with some untrue things in it.  I think we do.  Think about this:

What statements about your self-image do you have on your window? Where did they come from?  How might they be challenged?

Belief Window

So, what does your belief window look like?  I haven’t figured mine out yet.  But, here’s an example.  Take for instance Mother Teresa, her belief window looked like this:  The lowliest human being was worth saving, was worth taking care of, was worth putting yourself out for.  The men who started the KKK, their belief window looked totally different, if you were black you were not worth anything.

We each have a belief window and that’s how we see the world. Now I know most of us are not Mother Teresa or Klansmen, but the idea still applies to us.  Once we have a belief written on our window, it determines our behavior.

You can imagine a belief window can be very helpful or it can be detrimental depending on the accuracy.  The book says: The first step toward taking control of your life is taking a good look at what’s on your window and accepting the possibility that some of the things on it are wrong.

Okay, that’s it for today.  Tomorrow I have a story to tell you that will illustrate a belief window that is not accurate.

I leave you with “The Alcoholic’s Prayer.”

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Everyone Wants to Be in Control

We all seek to control our lives, our careers, relationships and most everything else.  If we can get control we should have a better life.  So they say.

Rylin made her choice umbrella, sandals, and upside down sunglasses.

Fact:  My life is the result of all the choices I have made.  IF I can control the process of choosing, I can take control of my life.  IDK this sounds complicated to me.

The purpose of this book is to explore the choosing process, to help me understand how it wors, and then to arm me with a tool that will enable me to see the consequences of my choices.

Then the book says: “That’s all there is to it.”

I will keep you posted as I wade through this little book–I have a hunch they have left out one important part–prayer.  Pray about everthing.

What about my weight I pray about that, and then I eat.  Hummmmmmmm I think I will read the book.  God gave me the power of choice perhaps I can find a clue on making good choices.

Learn to Monitor Your Mind

This week was the first day of piano lessons for the school year.  26 students, give or take a couple who forgot their books, sat on my piano bench this week.  I am crazy about each of them, and they come in all sizes and colors.  Most all of my students are funny and would just as soon talk as play the piano.

Today one of my beginning students had something very worth while to say.  He informed me that he has to protect his mind because he can’t sleep.  If he reads a book about snakes it keeps him awake.  Of course, I had to take the golden opportunity to explain how as an adult I have to guard my mind too.

I am pleased that his parents have explained the importance of self-control when it comes to what he puts in his mind.  I had to smile when he told me he thought he would read his piano book before going to bed, he didn’t think that would keep him awake.

What About ME?

Today our two-year old grand-daughter put her dolly in time out.   She has been putting herself in time out for quite a long time but the dolly is new.  Come to find out the dolly has been hitting and she deserved to be punished.  The odd thing is the child was in time out earlier for something similar.

I wonder if God ever wants to put me in time out?  I certainly deserve it from time to time.  I am stubborn, mean, and busy–I wonder which of those does God hates the most?

Are you the me you want to be?  What do you have in mind for yourself?  Do you like who you have become?  Perhaps you  can hardly stand who you have become.  Join me in examining your life, listen to your self, evaluate what you say and how you say it.  We can change? We are actually expected to change and become more like our maker.  Hummmm I wonder who the me is that I really want to be.  Who is the real me that God made?

Reviewing the Blog

For those of you who don’t know much about blogs, there is a thing called My Dashboard.  My Dashboard tells me all kinds of things.  It tells me how many people looks  at the blog each day, it tells me what was the most popular post for the week.  There is even a graph to show the activity each day. For instance today 96 of you read the blog.  Thanks. LOL

It has been a constant amazement to me that one post no matter how long ago it was written always shows up as having been read over and over again.  It is the post, “Oh No Do I Have To?”  Finally I decided to investigate   what brings people to that post.  I think I have found the answer it is the tag (that’s the words at the end of post).  The tag tells what the article  or post is about.  This one is about self-control.

SELF-CONTROL–is everyone just like me?  Are we all looking for self-control for one reason or another?  I know it’s Biblical, I know it’s what’s good for me and yet it eludes me almost every day.  Sickening isn’t it?

This brings me to the subject of my weight AGAIN.  Okay I know I hinted that I am on some kind of wagon, and I am.  I just finished day two of Weight Watchers.  Here is what I know:  l.  I am just like a drunkard only my problem is food 2.  Sometimes I have self-control but most of the time I don’t          3.  I seem to need a support group to keep me on track   4.  I can never see 208 pounds spin around on that scale again–oh no did I just tell you what I weighed when I started the process?  I think I did.

In the next few weeks I plan to study more about self-control, I will let you know what I find.  In the next few days I will tell you how I decided to try Weight Watchers AGAIN.

I Have a Virus

I really have three viruses one is on my computer, one is in my head (a cold), the other is in my-my-my ah heart.

The computer virus is the most disgusting thing–I have the Facebook virus–this virus sent creepy videos to my Facebook friends.  It is embarrassing, it is pron–here my computer, with my name attached, is sending this kind of stuff to my friends.

The computer has been taken to the computer hospital and I paid the co-payment of  $52.00 for diagnostic purposes.

My head virus is just a cold and not a very bad one, I will get over it quickly.

The other virus is a little more serious, it is my –oh you know I have talked about it before, it is my Simpson–my temper.  I found my self in such a state over my computer virus I could feel my Simpson stirring.  Just when I think I have my temper under control it rears its ugly head.

The way I see it is it all comes down to self–I am too tired to think too deeply about it so I will just say I am aware of my problem and I am still working on it.  I know God isn’t finished with me yet–thanks goodness.

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