A Life Worth Living by Nancy Buxton

Archive for the ‘Self Control’ Category

The Girl who Thought She Was Ugly

I don’t like the word ugly.  Actually there are a few words I don’t like, dork, bored, ugly, I don’t care, hate and using the Lords name in vain, are just a few of the words I don’t care to hear.

Back to the girl. . .think of it like this what if somewhere, sometime, someone you trusted told you that you were ugly.  Suppose you agreed that you were ugly and you put it in your belief window.  Would it make a difference?  You bet it would.

I remember Florence Littauer talking about a girl named Greta and how her mother never gave her the silver box of saying Greta was beautiful.  Greta looked for affirmation from her mother until her mother’s dying day.

The story is told of a very attractive girl, one you would notice when she walked into the room.  The only problem with this girl’s looks was that she never smiled.  This girl was convinced that she was ugly.  Her mother told her how ugly she was almost every day.

She would never accept the idea that she  was attractive, and her self-esteem was low and affecting her relationships.  You see when her boyfriend would tell her she was attractive, her window told her, he is either lying or he is too stupid to realize how ugly she really is.

By accepting her mother’s words about her looks and putting it on her window, this woman has given her mother control over this aspect of her life.  She could not take control herself until she replaced her mother’s principle with one of her own.

What about you and me, do we have a belief window with some untrue things in it.  I think we do.  Think about this:

What statements about your self-image do you have on your window? Where did they come from?  How might they be challenged?

Belief Window

So, what does your belief window look like?  I haven’t figured mine out yet.  But, here’s an example.  Take for instance Mother Teresa, her belief window looked like this:  The lowliest human being was worth saving, was worth taking care of, was worth putting yourself out for.  The men who started the KKK, their belief window looked totally different, if you were black you were not worth anything.

We each have a belief window and that’s how we see the world. Now I know most of us are not Mother Teresa or Klansmen, but the idea still applies to us.  Once we have a belief written on our window, it determines our behavior.

You can imagine a belief window can be very helpful or it can be detrimental depending on the accuracy.  The book says: The first step toward taking control of your life is taking a good look at what’s on your window and accepting the possibility that some of the things on it are wrong.

Okay, that’s it for today.  Tomorrow I have a story to tell you that will illustrate a belief window that is not accurate.

I leave you with “The Alcoholic’s Prayer.”

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Everyone Wants to Be in Control

We all seek to control our lives, our careers, relationships and most everything else.  If we can get control we should have a better life.  So they say.

Rylin made her choice umbrella, sandals, and upside down sunglasses.

Fact:  My life is the result of all the choices I have made.  IF I can control the process of choosing, I can take control of my life.  IDK this sounds complicated to me.

The purpose of this book is to explore the choosing process, to help me understand how it wors, and then to arm me with a tool that will enable me to see the consequences of my choices.

Then the book says: “That’s all there is to it.”

I will keep you posted as I wade through this little book–I have a hunch they have left out one important part–prayer.  Pray about everthing.

What about my weight I pray about that, and then I eat.  Hummmmmmmm I think I will read the book.  God gave me the power of choice perhaps I can find a clue on making good choices.

Learn to Monitor Your Mind

This week was the first day of piano lessons for the school year.  26 students, give or take a couple who forgot their books, sat on my piano bench this week.  I am crazy about each of them, and they come in all sizes and colors.  Most all of my students are funny and would just as soon talk as play the piano.

Today one of my beginning students had something very worth while to say.  He informed me that he has to protect his mind because he can’t sleep.  If he reads a book about snakes it keeps him awake.  Of course, I had to take the golden opportunity to explain how as an adult I have to guard my mind too.

I am pleased that his parents have explained the importance of self-control when it comes to what he puts in his mind.  I had to smile when he told me he thought he would read his piano book before going to bed, he didn’t think that would keep him awake.

Reviewing the Blog

For those of you who don’t know much about blogs, there is a thing called My Dashboard.  My Dashboard tells me all kinds of things.  It tells me how many people looks  at the blog each day, it tells me what was the most popular post for the week.  There is even a graph to show the activity each day. For instance today 96 of you read the blog.  Thanks. LOL

It has been a constant amazement to me that one post no matter how long ago it was written always shows up as having been read over and over again.  It is the post, “Oh No Do I Have To?”  Finally I decided to investigate   what brings people to that post.  I think I have found the answer it is the tag (that’s the words at the end of post).  The tag tells what the article  or post is about.  This one is about self-control.

SELF-CONTROL–is everyone just like me?  Are we all looking for self-control for one reason or another?  I know it’s Biblical, I know it’s what’s good for me and yet it eludes me almost every day.  Sickening isn’t it?

This brings me to the subject of my weight AGAIN.  Okay I know I hinted that I am on some kind of wagon, and I am.  I just finished day two of Weight Watchers.  Here is what I know:  l.  I am just like a drunkard only my problem is food 2.  Sometimes I have self-control but most of the time I don’t          3.  I seem to need a support group to keep me on track   4.  I can never see 208 pounds spin around on that scale again–oh no did I just tell you what I weighed when I started the process?  I think I did.

In the next few weeks I plan to study more about self-control, I will let you know what I find.  In the next few days I will tell you how I decided to try Weight Watchers AGAIN.

“Twas The Night Before . . .

T’was the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,

not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled,

the chocolate I’d taste

At the holiday parties

had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales

there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store

(less a walk than a lumber),

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and Special K Loaf nicely rared, The grape juice and the spinach balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt… I said to myself, as I only can, “You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!”

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip. Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.

I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore… But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

Humility, the Ordinance of

Yesterday was Communion Sabbath, I love Communion, it gives me a sense of renewal, starting over, washed clean if you want to think of it like that.

Bob was eager to wash my feet, and I was BUSY, I had a job to do and when I have a job to do I “get ‘er done.”  After all I am dependable and I can’t let anything get in my way of doing my proper job.  I was taking someone’s place at the table serving water to others taking part in the ordinance of humility. 

Here sat my fella, right beside me waiting, waiting, waiting, but remember I’m BUSY. Finally he looked up at me and said, “Do you think you can do it now?”  Well, the people had slowed to a trickle so I asked the lady beside me if I could be excused.  We washed each others feet, he noted that my toenails need to be painted and smiled. https://nancyoutlook.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/how-did-mothers-day-go-for-you/ We prayed with each other and we quickly went back into the sanctuary.  Then I noticed, he was the last deacon to be seated on the front row to help serve the wine and bread.  Ugh!  Why had I not put him first and just wash our feet first and then do my DUTY?  Another lesson learned, but those lessons rarely stick.

I have been washed and forgiven by my Lord for my sins and shortcomings, He is always ready and willing to forgive.  But, I wonder when will I ever learn, when will my selfish side be put away for a new me? A kinder, less selfish, more understanding, kind of person. IDK–I am praying about it.

Tag Cloud