A Life Worth Living by Nancy Buxton

Posts tagged ‘acceptance’

Going Back

As we drove up the road facing the mountains in Colorado, I had the same lonely feeling I experience 40 some years ago when my parents dropped me off at a little school just below the foothills of  the Rocky Mountains. 

It’s an odd feeling, one I can’t really explain, just a sense of aloneness, is the best way I can describe it.  As Bob parked the car  I looked around to see if I could recognize at least one person, I didn’t. We walked to the front of the gym and  stopped at the registration booth,  I gave them my information and put my name tag around my neck.  The problem was, it said Nancy Buxton and that was not my name when I attended this school.  Never the less I did see some classmates and we had a good time catching up.

There were 90 some who graduated from the class of 1965 and for this 45th reunion I think only 15 came back.  I wondered where the rest were and why they didn’t show up.

Am I happy I traveled 500 miles to attend my honor class, hummmmmmmmmm it was okay.  You know we have all moved on.  We are all really different people than we were 45 years ago.  Living life has taken its toll on most of us.

What I came away with is just the fact that life is short, too short to hold a grudge or to look on the bad side of everything.  Life is too short to not have a relationship with Jesus, because in the end what have we gained if we don’t have Jesus as our friend.   I learned we were all most happy when talking about our families, our children and grandchildren.  I learned that I love home the best and couldn’t wait to get on the road towards Nebraska.

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Belief Window

So, what does your belief window look like?  I haven’t figured mine out yet.  But, here’s an example.  Take for instance Mother Teresa, her belief window looked like this:  The lowliest human being was worth saving, was worth taking care of, was worth putting yourself out for.  The men who started the KKK, their belief window looked totally different, if you were black you were not worth anything.

We each have a belief window and that’s how we see the world. Now I know most of us are not Mother Teresa or Klansmen, but the idea still applies to us.  Once we have a belief written on our window, it determines our behavior.

You can imagine a belief window can be very helpful or it can be detrimental depending on the accuracy.  The book says: The first step toward taking control of your life is taking a good look at what’s on your window and accepting the possibility that some of the things on it are wrong.

Okay, that’s it for today.  Tomorrow I have a story to tell you that will illustrate a belief window that is not accurate.

I leave you with “The Alcoholic’s Prayer.”

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Atlanta Was the Place to Be!

These street signs were all around the streets hear the Georgia Dome

The 59th Session of the SDA General Conference was in Atlanta, GA.  It was a glorious sight to see 70,000 people who believe just like I do.  Is this a correct statement?  I think not!

What a sight

It was very obvious, as I sat in on some of the business sessions, that we are certainly not all of one mind on a lot of subjects.  We for sure are not of one mind on appropriate dress or even life style.  In the Georgia Dome, Starbucks was closed after the first day of the session. 

What I did notice is we are all looking forward to the coming of Jesus and we are excited about spreading the Good News.

There were some surprises!  This is a time when some people are not re-elected, that means they no longer have a job.  In most cases I think this comes as a surprise but what do I know, I am just a casual observer.  Another surprise is the vote to ordain deaconesses, this vote passed by a large number.

Are you holding your breath about the ordination of women into the ministry?  Maybe that’s not an important subject for you.  I will tell you this it did come up and it was agreed to ask Andrew’s University to study ordination.  Later another vote on the subject was that the General Conference will study the subject of women’s ordination and bring a report back to The Annual Council.  You ask what does all of this mean? IDK  I have a guess but think I will keep that to myself.  LOL

I really wanted to try but I just never got around to it LOL

One of my favorite parts of the whole experience were the people and the many different outfits

This is my favorite picture and I had to beg this lady to let me take it

To end a great week, in Chicago I met my little family from Singapore and we were on the same plane to Lincoln, Nebraska.  It was music to my ears to hear those little people scream “GRAMMY”  when I walked up to the gate.  I sat with Rylin and occupied her with my purse for a long time.  Lincoln sat across the aisle from me and explained exactly what the plane would do to get off the ground.  Katie was asleep on her daddy’s shoulder before the plane left the ground and Jacie had a chance to ride with another adult for about 45 minutes before RyRy wanted MOMMY.

The Lord is good, I saw much evidence of his working during the 59th Session of  my church.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a very special day, Father’s Day!  I thought of my Dad and the fact that he was my buddy.  When my mom didn’t see things my way I would always go to daddy.  I think just the word daddy melted his heart and he would usually see things my way.  Not always but sometimes.

My dad was a dependable man, he got off work at 4 pm and was home by 4:20, 4:30 at the latest, never fail.  Once a month we, my dad and I, would meet at the grocery store to do some shopping.  We lived in a town where we could buy groceries on credit.  When dad got his pay check, he would cash it  at the grocery store, pay our bill and stock up for the next month. If the bill was too high he would by unhappy and always thought we spent too much on food.

Dad taught me how to cook.  Every time I made something that was not great he would say, “it’s just the way I like it.”  He taught me to make gravy, steak, fried chicken and most any thing that was easy.  I know I have told you about him before but it seems worthwhile to repeat.

Dad had a quick temper and could “fly off the handle” easily.  I was 17 when he gave me my last whipping, it was my sassy mouth that got me into trouble.  I know what you are thinking child abuse, well maybe but in those days it was called discipline.  Good or bad that’s how they did it.

As for my children’s father, my husband, he was never spanked a day in his life.  His father was 55 when he was born so I doubt by the time Bob was spanking age his dad could even catch him. 

Are you wondering what we did for Father’s Day around my house. After the two phone calls from our  kids, we went to Valentino’s for brunch, I paid, father’s ate free.  LOL  I gave him a one way plane ticket back home from Washington state.  I will fill you in on that another time.

Last evening we celebrated Bob’s birthday.  Seven of us ate at Tico’s, it was delicious.  My present to him was 2 ties (one purchased at a garage sale) and two pair of pants.  Not exciting I know but everything fit and he needed them.

We also cleaned the downstairs, big  job but someone had to do it and since we are the only two around it was us.  We moved furniture, bookcases and really deep cleaned.  I think we are ready for our little Singapore family to arrive.

God is good. He has brought such special people into my life.  It could have been so different.  Have you ever thought how things could have been.  Sometimes I wonder why God gave us the power of choice, why did he give us a will.  He has such good ideas why didn’t he just plan our life for us?  I know, I know it just does not work that way, there is a reason.  God would be called unfair if he did that–Satan always messes things up.

The Friendliest Place in Town

Do you feel like your church is the friendliest place in town?  If you don’t or if I don’t we need to do something about that.  Yesterday I posted about the 5 important things that make people feel welcome at church.  Now I’m not just talking about visitors I am talking about church members.  Do you know church members can feel very lonely at church?

People want to feel comfortable at church.  They want comfortable seating and easy to follow signage.  They also love to have their names used.  It ‘s important to learn about your fellow church members and to express genuine interest in them and their family.

People also want a relaxed fit!  Sounds like we are buying a pair of jeans doesn’t it?  Think about this.  Once we’ve been going to a church for a while it starts to feel pretty routine.  We know our way around and certainly know what’s expected.  For guests, the church can seem pretty daunting and foreign at first, especially if it is a big church.  Help people feel at ease by letting them know your church is a safe place to be and they are welcome no matter what.

If you see someone wandering the halls looking lost ask them if you can help.  I have actually seen people leave a meeting because they couldn’t find a place to sit.  Move over and invite a stranger or a church member to sit with you, you can do that with a smile, a nod or a motion.

Stick around–most of the time once we hear the last amen we are on our feet and ready to head for home.  Those moments after the service don’t need to be rushed.  Take time to say hello to the people who were sitting around you.  One study showed that visitors felt more welcomed when someone talked to them after the service than before.

It’s not always easy to put these things into action especially if it isn’t natural.  I do believe we are called to be friendly even if it’s difficult.

How Was it When You Grew Up?

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I grew up in the 40’s/50’s with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it… A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.  

I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio , screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress Things we keep. 
   
best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away..

It was a way of life, and  sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more. 

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away….never to return.. So… while we have it…… it’s best we love it…. and care for it… and fix it when it’s ! broken……… and heal it when it’s sick. 

This is true. for marriage…….. and old cars…. and children with bad report cards….. and dogs with bad hips….. and aging parents…. . and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special…….. and so, we keep them close! 

THIS WAS EMAILED TO ME AND IT REMINDED ME OF THE HOME I GREW UP IN.  AS A KID I THOUGHT THINGS WOULD ALWAYS STAY THE SAME.  MY DAD TELLING ME TO TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND CATCH A NICKLE, MY MOM COLLECTING RAIN WATER TO WATER HER PLANTS.  THINGS DO CHANGE AND NOT ALWAYS FOR THE GOOD AND YET IT IS INEVITABLE.

ALL I KNOW IS WE MUST LIVE IN TODAY, NOT YESTERDAY, NOT TOMORROW BUT RIGHT NOW.  WE MUST LOVE COMPLETELY AND FEEL DEEPLY FOR OUR FELLOW MAN (WOMAN). AGAIN, IT IS BIBLICAL–LOVE THE LORD AND LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN.

Happy Birthday

I had to give my birthday wishes over the phone.  It just isn’t fair, do I sound like a child?  Sometimes I feel like a child, what does the Bible say?  Once a man and twice a child, I’m there.  April 25 is the day I became a mom, I didn’t know the joy that little boy would bring to my life, I only knew I loved him before he was born.  In my eyes he has been a perfect son!  I wonder if God feels the same about me or about you?  Have you ever thought of that?

This is an old post but for my newest readers I think it is worth the read it is about letting go of your most precious possession.

My Boy has turned into a man, oh he still has that boyish look, that smile that melts my heart but he IS a man, he even shaves (inside joke).  He has a kind heart, he is a great husband and father, fun loving and sweet.  I am his mother but I don’t think I’m bias–he is just that way.

I remember when he finished college and was headed to Seattle to work for Boeing, I couldn’t stand it.  His father and I went on a trip and left his sister home to take care of seeing him off.  I just couldn’t bear to see him turn the corner and drive away, it brings tears to my eyes now as I think about it. Little did I know. . .

That he would make us (his parents) seem like exotic travelers, which we aren’t but because of him we are.  He had the nerve to move his precious wife and children to the other side of the world.  That’s right, a 27 hour plane ride.  It never crossed my mind that he would ever live half way around the world from me. When he moved to Seattle, single (have I told you I found his sweet wife for him?) and alone, I recall telling him if I live to be 70 years old I will probably only see him a certain number of time, silly I know but that’s how I felt. 

Why am I telling you this?  I want you to think about letting go, sometimes it is difficult, especially for mom’s to let their boy soar.  Do it!  As a parent it is our job to raise our children to fly away.  Be happy for them, be excited for them and support their decision.  You see life is hard and we each need people in our corner who support us and believe in us, as a mom this is part of our job. Don’t hang on, don’t tie him to your apron string and don’t keep him tied when he gets married.  It’s  Biblical, a man shall cleave to his wife not his mother or father. (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:5, Mark 10:1)  I like the word cleave it sounds perfect for a man and woman to cleave.

Would I love to have him and his family living next door, I sure would, but I am happy for them.  They love what they are doing and where they live, and I want to give them the support they need from me.

So dear mom and dad, when it’s time let go, let that precious boy soar and be happy that you raised him to do it.My boy and his boy

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