A Life Worth Living by Nancy Buxton

Posts tagged ‘daughter’

There is No Good Definition of Happiness

The dictionary defines happiness as; Characterized by good luck; fortunate, enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, being especially well-adapted, cheerful. Do you like any of these definitions?

Once I saw a newspaper advertisement That read, “If you are not completely satisfied with your life, give us a call.”  This is a perfect add because who in the world is completely satisfied with their life?

The truth is we are completely satisfied with nothing.

The reason is human nature. What ever we want–love, money, attention, pleasure, food, security–cannot be supplied to completely satisfy.  I think our human nature is the biggest obstacle to happiness. 

I have a friend who is never happy, in my eyes she has everything, a lovely home, a loving husband and plenty of money.  It isn’t enough, she still has a problem with happiness.

Could it be that our brain can determine our happiness.  When my little grand kids get cranky their mother always tells them that it’s up to them to decide to be happy.  I think she is on to something that we all need to do.  Decide to be happy.  We can decide to be satisfied with what we have.  A poor person who decides to be happy with what little they have is much happier than the wealthy person who is unhappy because they want more.

If we are not satisfied with what we have, will we allow that to make us unhappy?  For sure dissatisfaction does not have to make us unhappy.  Oh I know I’m not making sense out of this but this is what I know.  Someone my age (young) has terminal cancer–I don’t know her well enough to know if she has been satisfied with her life.  I do know as I look at my life, I don’t want to wasted any time being unhappy with life.  There are things I can be dissatisfied about but I want with all my heart to be happy from the inside-out.

I have noticed, I really am much happier and satisfied when I have spent a good amount of time in the WORD.  It just stands to reason that the Lord fills my needs, my heart, my longings with gems from His WORD.

A Giving Heart

Do you know the Bible tells us that’s it’s important to give?  I think we should give because it is our role.  As women God certainly created us to be givers.  We give a smile, a hug, a compliment, encouragement.  I mean that’s us, we are natural givers.

The New Testament tells us to give generously.  Galatians 6:7 says, “What ever a mother sows, that she will also reap.” That’s a scary thought.  As I consider the principle of sowing and reaping, I realize that what I put into my family on a daily basis will be what I get back in the years to come.  When I really think about that I could gasp for air, wish I had thought about this sooner.

Give expecting nothing in return.  Really we serve our family because God says to do it. Luke 6:35  We don’t give love to get praise, and if we do there is something really wrong.  Read Titus 2:4 it is pretty clear on just how we are to love our children.

I think we need to have fun, I think visiting grandma’s house should be the most fun a kid has.  Or what about a child’s home? It should be a ball for every family member.  We need to develop a good sense of humor, laugh easily.  When my daughter was dating I would usually wait up for her and when she would come in the door, usually with a girl friend, we would put on the water make some mac and cheese and talk it all over.  We had some really good laughs and lots of fun talking about the evening.

IDK–I certainly don’t have all the answers but let’s make life fun.  Lighten up a little and bring a sparkle to the eyes of the people we love.


I am stunned, how could I have forgotten the story of Samson?  He was certainly an impulsive fellow and yet he led Israel for 20 years.  Have you read the story lately.  I mean God told his parents exactly how to raise him, and from all accounts they did as God directed.

Samson’s parents didn’t even cut his hair because God told them not to.  Were they too easy on him?  When he told them to go get a certain woman, they did it.  Should they have put their foot down.  IDK–I just have a hard time figuring it all out.

I have been spending a few days with my Kansas grand kids and their parents.  I watch my grandchildren get guidance from their parents.  I watch as their very tired daddy spends time with them, has worship with them and gently tucks them into bed.  I have often seen him linger by their bed and I know he is praying for each little sleepy head.

It is scary business, raising children.  Maybe I am just getting to the age of being afraid of my own shadow but I don’t think so.  I listen to young people talk and I am shocked to hear how much time they spend on gaming.  I mean even to the point of spending very little time doing anything else.  Video games are addicting.  What will it take for parents to wake up and realize they are doing their children no favors by letting them spend time playing violent games and doing very little else.

Oh, I have gotten on my soap box now–sorry.

I have a great new recipe but I am too tired to write it down.  Tomorrow is another day.

The Power of Friendship

This is the last of the posts on making sure your church is friendly, not only to visitors but to members.  It is possible to feel alone and lonely when you have been a church member for a very long time.

Think  about this, there is no way you would invite someone to your home and then just sit there and never say a word.  Yet when we walk into the sanctuary have you noticed we usually just sit down.  Last summer the AC in our church had to be replaced.  It was the usual hot summer and we decided to meet in our upstairs fellowship hall.  We only had chairs to sit on but it worked.  In my book it really worked.  I noticed people actually talking to each other, they would even turn the chairs around and visit.  There was a wonderful, warm, friendly feeling in the fellowship hall.  As soon as we moved back to the sanctuary we fell back to our old ways of just walking to our same spots and sitting.

Smile!  A smile makes your face attractive.  It makes your face welcoming. Greet Everyone with a smile.  We have a man in our church, his name is Dan.  He is always so upbeat and has a great big smile on his face, he makes everyone feel welcome and worthwhile.

Sometimes the drive to church is not always a pleasant one.  At my house we are usually running very late and I am not always a happy camper by the time we leave for church.  At my daughter’s house it is always a rush to find the shoes, jackets and the to do bag.  By the time we arrive at church we would have reason to have a frown on our face.  Take a moment to warm up your smile by thinking of the good things in your life and thanking God for his blessings.

Don’t overlook the importance of greeting the people you meet with a smile and shake hands to those around you.  Do this before and after every service.  Learn their names.  Even if your church has official greeters, you’re not off the hook.  When church is over don’t rush out the door, stay by and visit a little and greet those who have been sitting around you.

The last thing I want to say on this is to thank the people serving.  Smile and say thanks to at least 3 people each week.  Some of these people may be paid others are volunteers but thank them for what they do.

Well, there you have it!  I would love to hear some success stories from you.  Mother Teresa said, “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”

My Girl

My Girl had a birthday!  Yup my baby is 35, how can that be when I don’t feel a day over 35?  This girl turned woman has been a delight to me always.  I do remember when she was about 2, she perplexed me, she seemed to not be the happy-go-lucky child that her brother was.  I decided she was bored with her toys and bought her some new ones.  That’s funny looking back on it, how could a two-year old be bored? She was just a little wisp of a thing and sweet as sugar.

My Girl was a breeze as a teenager, she was strong-willed and would often come home early or send her friend’s home early because she wanted to go to bed.  This idea was never in my vocabulary I am a die-hard still today.  You are getting the picture aren’t you?  We are not very much alike and yet we are best friends.

I admire my daughter, I mean really admire her.  She has a walk with the Lord, she depends on Him.  She teaches her children about Jesus.  She cooks healthy, watches her weight and exercises.  She never raises her voice to her children and yet they obey.  She is quick to apologize if she thinks she has done something wrong, she is sweet and generous.  She is frugal especially with herself.  She puts her husband first right after God. She is fun and thoughtful.  She is beautiful inside and out.  This picture is a fun picture of her and her honey.  She is still in her pj’s,  I am sure she will wonder why I didn’t find a picture of her all fixed up.  The real fact is she looks great no matter what. Isn’t there something about seeing yourself through the master’s eye. I am not the Master but I am the mother and through my eyes she is perfect.

For her birthday present she wants me to help her spring  clean her house.  I can’t wait I love to spend time with her even when it’s cleaning house.

Can you tell I am crazy about this girl of mine?  I thank the Lord for her!

The Wedding

Weddings are just a lot of fun.  The older I get the more I know that getting married can be risky business.   LOL  Wonder what Bob would think of that statement?  Well, it’s true!  We all come from different backgrounds and then have the odd idea that we can just say “I do” and every thing will be normal.

When I think back to my our wedding, I never gave a thought that we would do anything but live happily ever after.  HA  It was work.  He grew up in a family that never asked where he was going or when he would be back.  I grew up in a family that I practically had to tell my mom when I was headed to the bathroom.  My father got off work at 4:00 pm and he was home by 4:30 pm on the dot.  Can you imagine my shock when shortly after we were married my husband didn’t how up until 7:00 pm and I expected him at 5?  I’ve learned to go with the flow and he has learned to come home–most of the time. LOL

The wedding this weekend was in Western Kansas and it was held in a bar and grill.  The music was over a sound system and the Groom sang to the Bride.  The food was made by friends and the wedding cake was yummy.

The interesting part was our family.  As I sat looking at all of us it brought tears to my eyes.  We were a table of non-drinkers and smokers not because we have never done it but because most of us are recovering from something or other.  Some have been heavy drinkers, smokers and pot users.  Some have been on Meth and you can tell it by the broken down facial features, no teeth and the blank look in the eyes.  Having said this, my nephew was the first one to wish us a happy Sabbath.  I had forgotten it was Sabbath.

You may wonder why the tears?  It’s because my sister in law never gave up.  She has praye and pleaded with the Lord over her children, grandchildren and syblings.  As a sat there I saw the changed lives one after another and I know it all has to do with her prayers.

So what about the parents who pray for their children and they don’t see the hand of the Lord?  I asked this question of my daughter as I related the weekend to her. Her comment was, “their story is not finished yet.”  To those of you who are watching your loved ones make bad decisions after another, just keep on lifting them up.  I have seen what God will do.  Jer. 33:3  “Call to me and I will answer you. . .”

Do You Feel the Pain

Thursday, February 18, 2010

This is from a blog I read.  Have you ever felt pain like this?  God didn’t create us to have this much pain in our life and I hate it when people say God must have wanted this or that to happen for a reason.  I don’t believe it!  God never wants bad things to happen to his children, NEVER.  Bad things are the result of living in this sinful world all I can say is–come Lord Jesus.

Heart and Soul

When I left home I never thought my choice to return to it would be limited.  


It was mine for the having: and no one would take that from us.  


I close my eyes and think of home. Especially after eating something old and familiar—like watermelons and corn on the cob. Swedish Pancakes and dad’s Sabbath Morning Breakfast.  


I hear my dad’s familiar foot steps… and I see a white cat.  

Reality speaks a truth of my father’s absent foot steps and no- we don’t have any more white cats. None. 


I see myself tromping around the forest and collecting beavers. This fairy tail lifestyle. The luckiest kid alive. Find another and I will prove you incorrect.  


It was mine for the having. As much as my 17 year old hear loved the landscape of Europe and North Africa. I thought that my ordinarily simple- extravagant life would always wait for me.  


It doesn’t. Something about being there ruins it all. Capturing its essence I attempt to touch the brittle remains of this old life and it all falls apart. I realize I can’t have it. Controlled resisitence to wreck my memories—should I stay away.  

 In the cozy confusion of Christmas I found that they truly love each other and don’t know how to mend the train wreck they’ve piled into. He’s too proud to apologize and she’sto unrelenting just to let go and expect less. Being their unfortunate blend, I love everyone, expect and want their best and feel hurt when they let themselves down.  


I feel bewildered I want to find my way home. The home that my photographs and expectations hold. Ordinary life before the war. No, not Iraq—but we could go back that far for the hell of it. But the war of holding on to not letting go.  


If you aren’t living you have nothing. But what is life? Circles of confused existence spinning off my expectations of crafts with my grandmother—and a love that lasts? I can not let go of that hope or I will lose my life.  


Until the past few weeks, home had been ever changing yet constant as the Almighty. It presented itself to me in familiar photographs of John Deer tractors and crooked smiles. It was an impersonal familiarity though. One that would not get close enough to be mine. These glimpses of how life should be belong to the past.  



I feel as though I lose. I lose something very special to me with this admittance. Mourning the loss of my dear one without his death—spirited death.  


It was never my choice. You can not just leave and come back six to nine years later to find things just as you left them. People get old, tired, cranky.  

New Olympians have replaced Tonya Harding… and no one gives a —- about Nancy’s blasted knee.

To you, this is just my little place where I write and may put up a picture of you—where I come across increasingly remorseful for unknown sins. But to me… it is really life. Disappointment. And for some reason a still small glimmer of hope that will only lead to disappoint me.  


At the end of the day, I guess home is where the heart is. No matter how diseased it may become.  


Heart disease is the number one killer of American Citizens Every Year.


The Lost is Found

This is another saga on the relationship between US!  I know you are wondering  just who US is, aren’t you?  You should know by now I’m speaking about my man.  You know the one I have lived with for 42 years.

About 5 months ago we  went to Kansas to see our kids.  We drove the “new to us” car and we each carried our set of car keys.  When we arrived home my fella asked me if I had my keys and, of course, I couldn’t find them.  He has  naged  asked me many times since about finding  my keys.  The answer has been NO.

I had a friend visit several months ago and he was even nagging  asking me in front of her to the point that just a few days ago she asked me if I  ever found those keys.  Now I had two people checking on my keys.

I looked in all my purses, asked our daughter look at her house, looked in all my coat pockets–I looked everywhere twice.

Yesterday, HE asked for forgiveness.  This is how he said it–he wrapped his arms around me, and said, “will you forgive me?”  Now what would you think?  I wondered what I needed to forgive him for.  Then he said it, “I found the keys in my dresser drawer.”  Do you get it?  In his dresser drawer!!!

I must admit I am plenty capable of losing keys and he was forgiven.  I did have fun calling our daughter, son and friend to tell them to story, and I may have embellished it just a wee bit.  But, it made me think, we do seem to jump to conclusions about things and maybe it’s best to just not point fingers at anyone.

Once again we are still friends and I think he is pretty funny and he thinks I am . . .well I don’t know what he thinks. I think he thinks I am special–read into that what you want.

Be Sure Your Sins. . .

It’s  time for confession, and maybe a few smiles while I confess.  I know, you are wondering what my sin was.  Well maybe not a sin but for sure I tried to be deceitful.  Hummm is being deceitful a sin? 

Wednesday is my crazy busy day, I teach all day at school with a 2 hour break in the middle.  First mistake, my clock was off in my classroom so I messed up my break.  After finding myself 1 hour early for the afternoon lessons I decided to slip over to Hobby Lobby (their fabric is so cute). 

 As I am driving down 48th Street my cell phone rang and it was my little honey girl calling.  I was talking  to my girl and just eased around the corner on Van Dorn (without signaling)  and came literally eye to eye with a motorcycle cop.  He  whipped that bike around faster than greased lightning and pulled me over.  With a nervous smile I met his request of finding my drivers license, registration and insurance card.  He assured me he would be right back.  When he went back to his bike (here is the deceit) I eased the seat belt around me and buckled it tight.  He had not mentioned that I wasn’t wearing it and I assumed he didn’t notice.  When I came back he told me talking on a cell phone was impairing my driving in a safe manner and I agreed.  He gave me a warning and I was thankful I had clicked in that seatbelt. 

When I got to Hobby Lobby I had to go to the bathroom so bad I rushed into the stall and after I had done my job found I had no toilet paper.  Praise the Lord there was a lady next to me and I told her about my ticket, and now my problem of no TP–she had a very good laugh and handed me what I needed.

When I got back to my car, I read the ticket  and right there in black and white, my policeman had circled ” no seatbelt,” along with failing to signal when turning.  So there you are, it would have just been better if I had not tried to deceive my friend the cop.  He was merciful to me even when I was trying to help myself.  Does this remind you of anything?  The truth is when I try to take control,  my Heavenly Father has already been merciful and taken care of everything. Why is this lesson so hard to remember?

Dilly Bread

I use to make this all the time when I was  newlywed–

1 pkg yeast

1/4 Cup warm water

1 Cup cottage cheese

2 Tbs. Sugar

1 TB. finely minced onion

1 Tbs. butter, melted

1 tsp. dill seed

1 tsp dill weed

1 tsp salt

1 egg

1/4 tsp. soda

1 1/4–2 1/2 cups white flour

Mix and knead as regular bread.  Let rise 1 hour.  Knead and form into loaf and put into greased bread pan.  Let rise again.  Bake about 40 minutes at 350 degrees.



Wish I Had Taken a Picture

When we arrived in Kansas to see our family we could tell there was something astir.  The two older grands were dancing with excitement.

  I think I have told you when we visit each others home we usually leave a pillow gift under the pillow for the first night. The gifts are usually small but this time it was a really big surprise.  We sleep downstairs and there is no bathroom so you can imagine the middle of the night trips up the stairs.  Guess what?  We are getting a bathroom!!!!  I told them I think they are getting ready for us to move in.  They made no comment on that idea.  Just to be safe I think I will get a name plate for the door like “grandma and grandpa’s room.”  Do you think that would be subtle enough?

I found a candle, sweet pictures of baby and some original art by the older kids.  Grandpa found a dark chocolate bar under his pillow.

What we really found was a precious family.  We just love spending time with them and watching the activity.  The best is watching these parents daily teach our grands about Jesus.

Today was weigh in day–down 1/2 pound–that is 37 1/2.  This weekend I go to MN for a retreat–need I say more?

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