A Life Worth Living by Nancy Buxton

Posts tagged ‘marriage’

The Anniversary

What to say.  Married 43 years and not much to say about it.  Well, that’s not exactly true, there is plenty to say.  I can tell you 43 years has gone by quick and yet slow.  Have you ever heard that days go slow but the years go fast?  This was really true when the kids were small, sometimes those days would just drag by until daddy came home and, and, and eat supper and watch tv until bed time. LOL

That’s how it use to be, husbands didn’t help out like they do now.  I wonder why that was.  My fella would at least put the kids to bed, he almost always did that.  I gave them the bath, got the pj’s on and he would slip into the bedroom and stay with them until they would fall asleep.  Funny thing is, that seems to be the thing the kids remember.  They don’t remember all the baths, they remember dad going to bed with them and talking until they fell asleep, all three of them.

So what did we get each other?  Welllllllllllllllllllllllllll, I told Bob to skip the present there is nothing I want and the VitaMix was pretty expensive for Mother’s Day.  What did I get him? Flowers.  Yup, I did.  He told me one time when I was wishing for flowers that I have never gotten him flowers, so I fooled him and did it.  Here’s the kicker, after a few days I asked him how he liked his flowers, he said, “What flowers?”  Funny, isn’t it?  Oh well, I have enjoyed the flowers, I’m not sure he thinks of them as his.  Who knows.

So do you have the picture?  No gifts, no cards, well except for flowers.  We did go out to eat with four other people and we went to the university dairy for an ice cream cone.  You know what? It was perfect, really it’s just nice to be happy, healthy and still seeking Jesus.

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This Morning

It was about 6:00 am and I just turned over in bed and I heard a voice say, “Happy Anniversary.”  LOL  If you knew my man you would know he is never awake much less aware of much at 6:00 am. 

Yup, 43 years of marriage.  You already know it isn’t always perfect.  He can “tick” me off and yet I have noticed the older we get the easier it is.  Praise the Lord.  Don’t get me wrong it has never been exactly hard but we certainly come from different backgrounds.

I remember reading, way back when we were first married and I was not sure I was really happy, something like this: The more you dwell on your unhappiness the more unhappy you become.  Make the best of your decision and decide to be happy.  Take it to the Lord in prayer.  Now that is not exactly how it read but it was good advice that’s for sure.

Here is the Thai Peanut Sauce that goes with the Lettuce Wraps from yesterday.  Not everyone will like this, but we do and Bob is not exactly adventuresome in his eating.

This would be good drizzled over stir fried vegetable or over the rice recipe I will give you next week.  Be sure you use natural peanut butter with no added sugar and NO partially hydrogenated oil.

5 TBS. peanut butter

3 Tbs. water

1 Tbs. soy sauce

3 Tbs. fresh lime juice

2 tsp. honey–maybe 3

2 cloves garlic, peeled

1.16 tsp. salt

1/16 tsp. cayenne pepper

Put it in the blender and blend on  high until smooth and creamy.  Refrigerate until using.  Warm the sauce in a microwave before serving.  Leftover sauce freezes well.  1 Tbs. 46 Calories

The Plunge

 Every now and then I read a blog called Digging For Treasure in the Diaper Pail.  I really like this post and thought you might also. You can find this blog at www.aliciabruxvoort.net.

   We celebrated Lizzy’s PLUNGE into double-digits with a wet and wild birthday party yesterday. Ten party-goers blessed my girl soon-to-turn-ten by spending a day with her at a waterpark.The highlight of the trip was everyone’s conquering of the biggest slide: THE PLUNGE!
     Even Hannah conquered her fear and tried the fast and furious drop. When Lizzy and her friends came to the sundeck where I was enjoying a rare moment of relaxation and dared me to take THE PLUNGE, I slipped out of my flip flops and headed for the tall tower. After climbing four stories in the air, I stood at the top of the sky-high platform and looked DOWN. My stomach flip-flopped. Lizzy and all of her friends took their turns on the big slide and then I was the only one left.
     “Just lie on your back and give yourself a push,” the lifeguard instructed. Lizzy’s party crew looked like ants at the bottom of the slide, but I could see them jumping and clapping and cheering me on.

I stepped into the swirling water. I was enjoying the party from my lawnchair I thought as I tentatively sat down at the top of the slide. The water is freezing! The drop looked daunting from my perspective. One push and I would be plunging straight down into a tiny puddle of waiting water. Oh,the things we do for our kids! I took a deep breath (and held it ALL the way to the bottom), reclined in the cold water, then grabbed the side of the slide and gave my body a push over the edge.

Water flew. My heart jumped to my throat. My body lifted off the slide, then banged back down against the wall. Adrenaline rushed. Lizzy screamed with delight, and my bulleting body came to a splashing halt.

“You did it, Mom!” Lizzy applauded. “Wasn’t that AWESOME?”

As I headed up the steps to do it all over again, I decided that the waterslide was an apt picture of my life with Jesus. Following Him is an amazing RIDE, but sometimes the hardest part is simply taking THE PLUNGE of obedience. 

“I want you and your family to move.”

“Are you kidding, Lord? I’m happy right here in my lawnchair. See? I have friends, a great church, a thriving ministry….”

“I want you to surrender family planning to Me.”

“But, Lord, I already have a picture in mind. I think I can handle three kids, God. You know, Rob works long hours and I have some dreams I want to pursue…”

“It’s time to give your husband the reigns. I created him to be the head of your family. Get out of the way and let him become the man I’ve dreamed him to be.”

“But, Lord, he’s too busy to lead well. And he doesn’t have the vision I do, and….”

And for every argument I have, the Author of this adventure called life urges, “JUST TAKE THE PLUNGE!”

And tentatively, I push my wary heart over the edge of my comfort zone and I hear my Savior cheer and holler, “Wasn’t that an  AWESOME ride? How did you like those splashes of joy? Didn’t you love that adrenaline pumping rush of dependancy on ME? Did you feel your heart lift off the ground and soar?”

And as soon as I reach the end of my challenge, Jesus grabs my hand and says, “Come on! Let’s Do it Again!”

Today’s Overflow:  “Come!” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on water toward Jesus.”Matthew 14:29-30  

No Flowers For Me

This is a little information I hate to tell but you already know I am pretty much an open book.  Being an open book is not always good and I have tried to become a little more discreet in my  information.  But, I have to tell you about the flowers because I know there is a lesson to be learned.

My friend’s husband brings her flowers most every Friday.  In my opinion, over the years I I I I I certainly deserve flowers every Friday but never get them.  I have even let it be known, in front of my man, that I never get flowers.  I mean it has been years since HE brought home a little bunch of flowers.

Sooooooooooooooooooo there is a store here in Lincoln that has a really nice bouquet for $5 on Friday and my friend’s husband always gets her 2 bunches–$10.  A couple of weekend’s ago I decided to stop and buy myself one measly bunch of flowers.  I brought them home and put them in a vase.  Secretly probably thinking this would make HIM feel a little bad that he didn’t bring them.  He didn’t say a word.

When we came home from the Friday evening meeting, on the counter I found two $5 Friday specials.  I squealed with delight asking my fella if he had bought them for me——-NO, he didn’t.  I quickly realized our friends have a key to the house and I knew where the flowers came from.

A week and a half  later the flowers are still on my counter, I weed out the wilted ones everyday and change the water and I have certainly enjoyed the gift of flowers.  If you’re wondering if I have gotten flowers from Bob the answer is no.  I would guess in his own sweet time he will get some because he wants to not because I have badgered him into getting them.

Sooooooooooooooo where is the punch line you may be asking?  Well, maybe I’m making more of this than I should but here goes.  First I tried to get what I wanted by badgering, then I just got what I wanted by getting it myself.  What  I really enjoyed was the surprise of the gift.  Now you know where I’m going don’t you.  The GIFT. 

The GIFT–we may try to work things out on our own but it will usually be inferior.  It’s the gift, the thing we don’t do anything for other than accept it.  The GIFT that Jesus gave us, we can’t buy it our self, we can’t even badger Him into giving it to us because it is already ours.

IDK maybe I am off base but it makes sense to me.

The Wedding

Weddings are just a lot of fun.  The older I get the more I know that getting married can be risky business.   LOL  Wonder what Bob would think of that statement?  Well, it’s true!  We all come from different backgrounds and then have the odd idea that we can just say “I do” and every thing will be normal.

When I think back to my our wedding, I never gave a thought that we would do anything but live happily ever after.  HA  It was work.  He grew up in a family that never asked where he was going or when he would be back.  I grew up in a family that I practically had to tell my mom when I was headed to the bathroom.  My father got off work at 4:00 pm and he was home by 4:30 pm on the dot.  Can you imagine my shock when shortly after we were married my husband didn’t how up until 7:00 pm and I expected him at 5?  I’ve learned to go with the flow and he has learned to come home–most of the time. LOL

The wedding this weekend was in Western Kansas and it was held in a bar and grill.  The music was over a sound system and the Groom sang to the Bride.  The food was made by friends and the wedding cake was yummy.

The interesting part was our family.  As I sat looking at all of us it brought tears to my eyes.  We were a table of non-drinkers and smokers not because we have never done it but because most of us are recovering from something or other.  Some have been heavy drinkers, smokers and pot users.  Some have been on Meth and you can tell it by the broken down facial features, no teeth and the blank look in the eyes.  Having said this, my nephew was the first one to wish us a happy Sabbath.  I had forgotten it was Sabbath.

You may wonder why the tears?  It’s because my sister in law never gave up.  She has praye and pleaded with the Lord over her children, grandchildren and syblings.  As a sat there I saw the changed lives one after another and I know it all has to do with her prayers.

So what about the parents who pray for their children and they don’t see the hand of the Lord?  I asked this question of my daughter as I related the weekend to her. Her comment was, “their story is not finished yet.”  To those of you who are watching your loved ones make bad decisions after another, just keep on lifting them up.  I have seen what God will do.  Jer. 33:3  “Call to me and I will answer you. . .”

Have You Witnessed Love?

I love rain, thunder, lightening, actually I love–love!  I think I have always been in love, even when I was only 5 years old I distinctly remember declaring my love for someone.

I have experienced love, I have watched love.  I have seen a mother look at her newborn baby with the eyes of an eagle, I saw a three year old brother look at his new baby sister and say–“she’s beautiful, mama.” I have seen a couple wanting a baby for so long and the look when they could finally say we are pregnant. I have watched two people who have discovered fresh love and realize one can’t live without the other. I have seen a little girl, only 7 years old, kiss her mama’s tummy telling her baby brother good night.  I have seen this same child running to greet her grandmothers yelling at the top of her voice, “wait ’til you see mom’s belly, it’s big,” and then watching with pride as the grandmothers nod their heads in agreement. I have seen a loving daughter sitting by her father’s bedside pleading with him to ask Jesus into his heart, he is dying and she knows it. I have seen a husband looking so pitiful as he remembers the fun loving woman he married so many years ago and now she  doesn’t recognize him.  I have heard the cry of a woman wishing her husband loved her enough to make their marriage work. I just finished reading about the love of Jesus for each of us, I have felt that love and am thankful.

So you see, whether it is the love we have for our child, our husband, our friend, our parents, our Lord, it is powerful, it is real and it is necessary.

I challenge you to love with all your heart, love your enemies, love those you are leery of loving, love as Jesus loved, love like everyone is your brother or sister.  It is Biblical.

Psalm 37:4 goes something like this–If you will make God the chief affection of your inmost heart. . .meaning delight yourself in the Lord, find pleasure and joy in him, get to know him well.  HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART.

God wants you, his daughters, to have the desires of your heart–he is a passionate God.  He has deep, moving desires for his creation and one of those is an intimacy with you.  He created you to be happiest when you are passionate about him, affectionate to him.

I love this text and I know you do too, Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to five you hope and a future.”

Please let’s unwrap the gift of happiness, let’s throw away the wrapping and keep happiness and love in our hearts by being passionate and affectionate about Jesus.

He Loves Me He Loves Me Not. . . . .

Several years ago the phone woke me out of a deep sleep, it was a dear friend.  Do you have a close friend who all she has to do is say hi and you know instantly something is wrong?  I knew something was really wrong when I heard her greeting.  I asked the dreaded question, “what’s wrong?”

After many years of marriage her husband had found someone else–she made him laugh.  My friend and I have spent many hours on the phone we have hashed it over and over and over.

I don’t know why it happened, I love my friend I think she would be the ideal wife, but something went wrong.

Today I want to give you some thoughts on things you can do for your husband.  Many of these ideas come from Elizabeth Georg’s book, On Being a Godly Wife.

1.  Pray for him daily–pray about his success, his spiritual life, and anything else that comes to mind.

2.  Plan for him daily–plan a date night now and then, make his favorite meal, pick up the house a little before he gets home.  Leave a little note on the door or put a quick note in his lunch.

3.  Please him–pay attention to what he likes and dislikes, my husband hates washing his hands in the kitchen and not finding a towel to dry with, I try to keep a towel handy just for him.  I would really rather have everything off the counter.

4. Protect your time with him.–Make your husband your number one human priority.

5.  Physically love him–I Corinthians 7:3-5

6.  Positively respond to him.  Say yes as often as you can, he may want you to ride along to Home Depot and you would rather stay home.  Go!

7.  Praise Him–thank him for what he does, tell him how much you appreciate him.

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